Today was spent mostly at home.
And since home is the primary danger zone, a few urges did spike throughout the day.
But I kept myself busy, and once again, the physical barriers I put in place prevented me from entertaining even a single second of temptation.
Because of that, I stayed in control.
The hardest part wasn’t the urges, it was when my mind started wandering and drifting into fantasy.
In moments like that, there’s only one solution:
interrupt the mind with discomfort.
A cold shower or 30 push-ups is usually perfect.
The body has to focus on the acute physical stress, which forces the mind back into the present.
A New Phase of the Journey
I’m slowly reaching a stage I’m not quite sure how to navigate.
On the one hand, all the precautions I’ve put in place have worked extremely well.
The obvious response is to stick to the formula and continue exactly as I’ve been doing.
But on the other hand, I feel a quiet anxiety
not fear, but caution.
I don’t want to become complacent.
I don’t want to assume the enemy is defeated simply because things have been going smoothly.
I find myself wondering:
Is this the beginning of smooth sailing?
Or is this just the calm before another round of surprise attacks?
No Withdrawals (So Far)
One thing I’m grateful for is that so far, I haven’t experienced mood swings or heavy withdrawal symptoms, which many others warned about.
Maybe it’s because my addiction was rooted more in habit and lust, not emotional escapism.
Or maybe the withdrawals just haven’t arrived yet.
Either way, the only option is to wait and see.
Closing
Tomorrow is another day.
And there are many more days ahead.
77 to be exact.
Still in the fight.
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